La Ay Zee

I didn't even hear my alarm go off this morning.

I have an alarm set to let me know when I should be doing a cool down and stretch, at 5:45 and that was the one that woke me up!

I guess I am skipping the gym today...

At least I will be going curling with a work function right? I probably won't be getting my heart rate up to 160, or sweating much, but at least I'm not sitting in an all-you-can-eat doughnut shop.

I wanted to talk about body image today.

It is such a bitch.

All women I have ever talked to, struggle with it! and it seems to be something that isn't quite as big of a problem with men. Yes some, and a lot, of men do have an issue, I'm not saying that, I am just saying that any man I have ever talked to about it, seems perfectly happy with his body! and every woman I talk to seems to have at least 5 things she doesn't like about her body.
And since I am female, that tends to be where my experiences and expertise lie...

This subject sneaks up on your fat ass and smacks you right in the face while simultaneously stabbing you in the back!

One day I look in the mirror at the gym and think "hey I may actually be making progress here!" and then I get home and rememeber that they put those MF-ing skinny mirrors in the gym to make you think that! and then I get the opposite reaction at home! and I think "woah I may have to start working harder, I need to make sure I'm working out 5 times a week. and I still have a long way to go!"

Now those thoughts aren't exactly negative, and I do have the negative thoughts too, it's just that those aren't supportive thoughts. They mess with my head, and break me down a little.

It's okay to sleep in once a week, or twice, or three times! It's okay to not want to run the last 5 minutes of your treadmill session! It's okay to skip your fitness class even though you paid for it, just because you are tired, or busy, or just don't plain want to go!

It's okay to not beat ourselves up over an imperfection.

I know we never let ourselves think that, and we have to keep reminding ourselves to be nice to ourselves.

We need quotes and support from friends, and read magazines... why? I don;t know why! But we all seem to! It saddens me!
Why can't we just listen to that Special K commercial and let it all go and "just own it" as they say?
Because I don't want to own my thighs, I want someone else's!

Why don't I assume I am just as drop dead gorgeous as my man tells me I am? Because I have eyes and he is apparently blind.

Why do my friends not see that I, and most other women, are jealous of them and would gladly trade our (insert body part here ) for their (insert tradeable body part here) ???

I don't know. I DO know that change takes time. Change is harder to achieve for women, change happens in different ways for everyone. You can't change everything. You can't decide or dictate what will change and when or how!

BUT!!! 

You CAN change how you look at yourself, how you perceive your journey, and how you talk to yourself, and the way you tell that other voice to go shove it up her fat ass! You can change and decide to start a journey of your own, you can change one small thing at a time (drink more water? go for one walk a week? a month?) any change helps as long as it is helping your mental well being.
You can change the way you look at and judge other women! Even if it's just in your head (please try to keep all judgments of other women in your head. We are already negative enough on ourselves, let's be nice to each other) and yes I am 100% guilty of it. It makes me feel way better about my own ass if I can tear down someone else's. That's just weird. Why does me saying your ass is ugly make mine any hotter? It doesn't. for sure.

And that is my new goal. be nicer to women, be nicer to my ass.

and that is all for today.

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